That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize