So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
