Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
