he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
