Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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