The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
