butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
