Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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