Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Buhtt sex?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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