Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
