my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
