nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
