You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
