Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
