hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
