Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize