i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
