I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
