You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
