piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
