I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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