I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize