found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize