I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
