just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
