planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
