shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
