I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
