thus making me awesome and them whores
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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