That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
