What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
