I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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