somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he puts the penis in happiness.
Acid is not a monday night drug
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
