it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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