yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
