we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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