I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
