Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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