did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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