That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
True college students do jello shots in the library
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