Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
