she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize