Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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