This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
