I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize