just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
