she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
