Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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