sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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