Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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