Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
