ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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