When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
