i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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