My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
