Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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