i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
