and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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