Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
