omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
