I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize