Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
